The day I became a grown up.

For my daughter Poppy. The moment you were born was the moment everything changed.

I have said versions of this before, but it has become clearer to me over these recent years of change. While walking alongside other people as they reach the edge of their own lives and realise something has to give. Careers that no longer fit. Relationships that ask more honesty. Bodies that refuse to be ignored. We all arrive at these points eventually. What we often fail to name is the catalyst.

Nothing changes without one.

A catalyst is not always loud. It is not always dramatic. Often it arrives quietly and rearranges you from the inside. It alters the cost of staying the same. Suddenly the old way of living becomes untenable. You are asked to grow, whether you feel ready or not.

For me, that catalyst was you, Poppy.

You did not arrive with instructions. You did not need to. Your presence alone raised the stakes. The choices I made were no longer theoretical. They had weight. Consequences. A future attached to them. I could no longer drift or delay or pretend that time would sort things out on my behalf.

I often think of the film When Harry Met Sally, which we both love. It is a story that understands something essential. That life is shaped less by grand plans and more by the people who force us to confront who we are becoming. Harry spends most of the film circling himself. It is only through loving Sally that he is finally required to stand still and grow up.

As Rob Reiner the films director put it, “A man is only half of himself until the right woman comes into his life” For me, that moment was not romantic. It was the day you were born. You were the woman who made me decide to be a better man.

You rearranged my priorities without warning. You gave gravity to my behaviour. You demanded integrity simply by existing. I became more responsible, more awake to the life I was shaping, because you were watching, even when you were small.

Now you are 21. Fully yourself. Stepping into the world as you are. Thoughtful. Capable. Carrying your own edges and questions.

The work that began the day you arrived is still unfolding. For both of us.

That is the quiet power of a true catalyst. It does not just change a moment. It changes a life.

So to my beautiful daughter Poppy, who turned 21 this week.

Happy birthday, kiddo.